Okay, so I'm actually going to write my thoughts down, intead of bragging about my kids. :) This is a stretch for me, but this is what blogging is all about, right?
I guess it all started with the beginning of Dan's last year of Dental school. The time seems to have flown by, until now. I seem to have become unsatisfied with my life. I can't wait to have a house like all of my friends seem to have now, I can't wait to not have to work anymore, I can't wait to be able to not have hand-me-down furniture and to decorate how I want, I can't wait to have more room, I can't wait to blah blah blah. Then one day, I was talking with my little sister about how easy it is to wish life away. Everyone says that their favorite time in life was when they were just starting out and didn't have everything they wanted. The "poor" days.
I was watching Chelsea and Michael play, thinking once again about the future, when it hit me that neither of them will probably remember when Daddy was in dental school. They won't remember this cramped apartment. They probably won't remember their friends or places we often go too, like the children's museum or zoo. I found myself wishing life would slow down.
At church I noticed a friend whose kids were all grown and married. In front of her was another friend who was a young mom like me, struggling to pay attention to the speaker while attending to her active children. I immagined the older couple remembering when their kids were young and how they wished they could have those moments back. I'm in that moment right now. I looked at Chelsea and Michael and almost broke down right there. Michael turns 2 this next week. It's hard to believe how much he's grown. The things that usually drive me crazy are now things that I try to burn into my memory so that when they're gone, I will be able to remember. Chelsea tells me that when she gets older and marries Michael, they will be my neighbors forever. I hope that's true...except for the marrying Michael part, of course.
It's already almost December and each month is a month closer to when my kids will be grown. I love them so much and I am so grateful for this enlightenment in my life that came sooner rather than later. I am looking at life through different eyes. Don't get me wrong, I'm still VERY excited to live in my own house, with my very own WASHER and DRYER, but I would love to stay in this moment when my kids are still young and love their mommy. :)
2 comments:
I totally understand. I've been trying to enjoy these moments too. I feel like this stage in our life is one where we are creating so many fun memories. It's nice not living next to any family because we really have to rely on eachother and I feel like that's going to strengthen our marriage so much.
Okay Trisa I have to say that you took the words right out of my mouth. Its funny because lately I have been feeling the exact same way. Maybe we should talk more. I am so tired of this phase of life but at the same time I love every moment of it. We had stake conference last week and our stake pres (he's an oral surgeon) was saying that at one point they had 4 kids in a 2 bedroom apartment. They had a queen size bed and turned it around and lined up the kids to sleep. Anyway his point was that after 20 years or so you forget all the tough times and just remember the good. So not to stress so much and just enjoy these times. That's why people always say "it was the best times of our lives." It felt like he was talking to me. Anyway maybe we should talk more!!!
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